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S01E15 3


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Okay, uh, consider this...

With your father gone,

It is your responsibility to make sure that missy chooses a suitable mate.

I hadn't considered that.

We do share dna. uh-huh.

So there is the possibility, however remote,

That resting in her loins is the potential

For another individual as remarkable as myself.


And you owe it to yourself and to posterity to protect

The genetic integrity of your sister's future offspring.

You're right.

If someone wants to get at missy's fallopian tubes,

They'll have to go through me.

I am shiva the destroyer!

I will have the woman.

I'm warning you I was judo champion at math camp.

All right, now that's enough juvenile squabbling.

You stop it.

Stop it, I say!

I'm going to settle this right now.

Neither of you are good enough for my sister.

Who are you to decide that?

He's the man of his family.

You have to respect his wishes.

You're out, too, by the way. say what?

It's nothing personal.

I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew

Didn't become flatulent every time they ate an eskimo pie.

What are you so happy about?

I'm not happy.

It's the medication. I can't stop smiling.

That leonard's made me aware of how high the genetic stakes are,

We have to face the fact that none

Of you are suitable mates for my sister.

Wait a minute.

Leonard made you aware of that?

We all make mistakes. let's move on.

Excuse me, but I think you're missing a big opportunity here.

How so?

Everybody knows genetic diversity produces the strongest offspring.

Why not put a little mocha in the family latte?

In principle, you have a point.

But as a practical matter,

Need I remind you that it takes experimental

Pharmaceuticals to simply enable you to speak to the opposite sex.

I think you're focusing entirely too much on the drugs.

Is it'cause I'm jewish?

'cause I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.

This has nothing to do with religion.

This has to do with the fact that you're a tiny,

Tiny man who still lives with his mother.

Sheldon, you are really being unreasonable.

Am I?

Here, eat this cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.

Oh, really?


Shelly, can I speak to you for a minute?


Why does everyone suddenly want to talk to me alone?

Usually nobody wants to be alone with me.

We all make mistakes. let's move on.

Okay, I'm not even going to ask why you're pimping me out for cheese.

But since when do you care at all about who I sleep with?

Well, truthfully, I've never given it any thought,

But it has been pointed out to me that you carry dna of great potential.

What on earth are you talking about?

Let me explain.

You see, I'm a superior genetic mutation, uh,

An improvement on the existing mediocre stock.

And what do you mean, "mediocre stock"?

That would be you.

But residing within you, is the potential for another me.

Perhaps even taller, smarter, and less prone to freckling, a sheldon 2.0,

if you will.

"sheldon 2.0"?



I am not saying that I should be the sole decider of who you mate with.

If you're not attracted to the suitor,

Then the likelihood of conception will be reduced.

You have got to be kidding me.

Not at all.

Frequent coitus dramatically increases the odds of fertilization.

Okay, shelly, sit down.

Now I've lived my whole life dealing with the fact that my twin

Brother is, as mom puts it, "one of god's special, little people."

I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird.

You know,

A superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds.

Of course, the newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food,

Leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death.

Luckily for you, that's where the metaphor ended.

I thought it ended at "cuckoo."

You listen to me.

If you want to start acting like a brother who cares about me,

Then terrific.

Bring it on.

But you try one time to tell me who I should be sleeping with,

And you and I are going to go round and

Round the way we did when we were little.


I have an alternate proposal. go on.


hatched ['hætʃt] v. 孵化;策划(hatch的过去分词形式) adj. 阴影线的 { :7365}

alternate [ɔ:lˈtɜ:nət] n. 替换物 adj. 交替的;轮流的 vt. 使交替;使轮流 vi. 交替;轮流 {cet6 ky toefl ielts gre :7396}

starve [stɑ:v] vi. 饿死;挨饿;渴望 vt. 使饿死;使挨饿 {gk cet4 cet6 ky toefl ielts :7450}

niece [ni:s] n. 外甥女,侄女 n. (Niece)人名;(英)尼斯 {gk cet4 cet6 ky :7475}

rabbi [ˈræbaɪ] n. 拉比(犹太人的学者);法师;犹太教律法专家;先生 { :8012}

cuckoo [ˈkʊku:] n. 布谷鸟;杜鹃鸟;傻子;咕咕声 adj. 愚笨的;疯狂的 vt. 不停地重复 vi. 学杜鹃叫 {cet6 :9233}

mediocre [ˌmi:diˈəʊkə(r)] adj. 普通的;平凡的;中等的 {toefl ielts gre :10434}

destroyer [dɪˈstrɔɪə(r)] n. 驱逐舰;破坏者;起破坏作用的事物 { :11489}

suitor [ˈsu:tə(r)] n. 求婚者;请愿者;[法] 起诉人 { :12528}

pimping ['pɪmpɪŋ] adj. 无足轻重的,微不足道的 v. 拉皮条( pimp的现在分词 ) { :12672}

fertilization [ˌfɜ:təlaɪ'zeɪʃn] n. [农] 施肥;[胚] 受精;肥沃 { :13121}

oops [ʊps] int. 哎哟(表示惊讶,狼狈时所发的喊声) { :13703}

freckling [f'reklɪŋ] n. 斑点 v. 雀斑,斑点( freckle的现在分词 ) { :13714}

posterity [pɒˈsterəti] n. 子孙,后裔;后代 {toefl ielts :14065}

loins [lɔɪnz] n. 腰部;耻骨区(loin的复数) { :14244}

truthfully ['tru:θfəlɪ] adv. 诚实地;深信不疑地 { :14396}

latte [ˈlɑ:teɪ] n. 牛奶;拿铁咖啡(coffee latte) n. (Latte)人名;(德、意、法)拉特 { :16833}

squabbling [ˈskwɔbəlɪŋ] vi. 发生口角;大声争吵 vt. 弄乱(排好的铅字) n. 争吵;口角 { :17073}

farting [fɑ:tɪŋ] n. 屁,放屁 vi. 放屁 n. (Fart)人名;(法)法尔 { :18709}

Eskimo ['eskimәu] n. 爱斯基摩人;爱斯基摩语 adj. 爱斯基摩人的 { :19795}

mocha ['mәukә] n. 穆哈咖啡;穆哈(也门一港口) adj. 用咖啡调味的;深咖啡色的 { :21217}

judo [ˈdʒu:dəʊ] n. (日)柔道 adj. 柔道的;柔道术的 n. (Judo)人名;(印尼、德)尤多;(葡)茹多 { :22325}

fallopian [fə'lɒpeən] n. 法罗皮奥氏(管) 输卵管(fallopian tube) { :25291}

decider [dɪˈsaɪdə(r)] n. 决定者,裁决者;决胜局 { :25767}

missy [ˈmɪsi] n. 小姐;少女,小姑娘 n. (Missy)人名;(英)米西 { :25863}

shiva ['ʃi:vә] n. (犹太教)七日服丧期 n. (Shiva)人名;(印、尼)希瓦 { :29720}

coitus [ˈkɔɪtəs] n. (拉)(尤指人类的)性交 { :30810}

flatulent [ˈflætjʊlənt] adj. 浮夸的;自负的;肠胃气胀的;空虚的 { :37022}

shelly ['ʃelɪ] n. (Shelly)人名;(英)谢利,谢莉(女名);(英)谢利;(阿拉伯)谢利 adj. 多壳的;有壳的,壳一般的 { :42485}

uh-huh [ˈʌhʌ] int. 嗯,哼;啊哈

Eskimo Pie [ ] na. 〈美〉紫雪糕 [网络] 爱斯基摩派;爱斯基摩馅饼;涂巧克力的冰淇淋

excuse me [ ] un. 请原谅;对不起 [网络] 劳驾;打扰一下;打扰了

fallopian tube [fә'lәjpiәn] n. 输卵管 [网络] 喇叭管;法娄皮欧氏管;输卵管内

Fallopian tubes [ ] n. 【解】输卵管 [网络] 喇叭管;法娄皮欧氏管

genetic diversity [ ] [网络] 遗传多样性;基因多样性;基因歧异度

genetic integrity [ ] 遗传完整性

genetic mutation [ ] un. 遗传突变 [网络] 基因突变;基因的突变;遗传基因的突变

mate with [ ] un. (指鸟兽)使交配: [网络] 紧密配合;使紧密配合;适配接插件

opposite sex [ˈɔpəzit seks] n. 异性 [网络] 异性相吸;也指性别不同的人;性别的人

owe it to [ ] 幸亏

owe it to yourself [ ] [网络] 欠你自己

pork chop [ ] na. 猪排 [网络] 猪扒;嫩煎猪排;连骨猪排

prone to [prəun tu:] v. 易于 [网络] 倾向于;易于…的;倾于

starve to death [ ] [网络] 饿死;快要饿死了;每年世界上会有许多人饿死

the odds [ ] [网络] 可能性;机会;赔率

the opposite [ ] [网络] 相反;对立面;反面

the opposite sex [ðə ˈɔpəzit seks] na. 异性 [网络] 群芳谱;两性谎言;翼性

to starve [ ] [网络] 饥饿;缺乏

zk/中考 gk/中考 ky/考研 cet4/四级 cet6/六级 ielts/雅思 toefl/托福 gre/GRE
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